*Before you start reading warning: This email is very long. As theauthor of this email, I suggest that the reader finds a cup of coffeeor tea to sip on, maybe a small meal, to provide sustenance throughoutthis time*Hello from Thailand-It's certainly been awhile since I have written a major update, asthis will soon be. In fact, probably about a month. I was hoping toupdate maybe every two weeks, but honestly, the thought of trying tocollect my thoughts together to write something of substance and truthwas/is/will always be a daunting task.My email list for Thailand has been steadily growing this past month--both with friends and family and those that I am not as familiar with.So, I feel like I should clarify the kind of person I am-- beforegetting on with this email.I have the special skill of being an overthinker. I realize this isn'ta word, but I hope that you will see and understand what it means andbe graceful with me for my creativity. But when you are me or like me,and I know many recipients of this email could also fall into thissame category of overthinkers, it's necessary to find a word todescribe oneself as a way of justifying something I sometimes perceiveto be a weakness of mine. I call it a weakness because many times I amso stuck in my own brain that rarely do I get out... Thus, I find thatplaces where I ought to be present, I am not present actually and thishabit, for me anyway, has become a form of escape.Why am I telling all of you this?First, my commitment to be honest about my weaknesses and experiences,and secondly, to tell you about how this time has been for me here inChiang Mai as I work to get outside of my mind and to be present forand with the Other. I find that life is a constant game of balancing--where sometimes it is good and needed to reflect deeply and othertimes it is good to be in the very moment of existence and revel in
it.
In these last two months about, I have been mostly leaning towards theover-contemplative side of things. This is for a few reasons--First and foremost, when a person is in a culture and place whereeverything is foreign (aka me in Thailand), this person finds herselfnot understanding (or misunderstanding) about 99% of the happeningsaround her. While I don't mind this because it gives me more of achance to ponder things, it really is not helpful to be absent for 99%of the time : ) ... Keep in mind that I am making every effort tounderstand the language and the culture, but it takes a lot morethought that I would have imagined it would previous to my cominghere. Imagination also takes hold when I understand 9-10 words in aconversation going on right in front of me, and I am seeminglyinvolved in... So I have embraced the habit of pretending I knowwhat's being said, as well as imagining to myself the conversationtaking place. I think you can see why this isn't necessarily apositive thing.Another reason I lean towards the overthinking is because there is somany things going on around me that merit deep thought andconsideration. There is an immense amount of suffering that takesplace around me-- whether it is a woman I meet who is trapped inprostitution, a homeless man begging and starving on the streetbecause his legs are deformed, or a three year old hill tribe childwhose parents are so poor that both they and their child must sellflowers throughout the night to foreigners making their way downstreets heavy-laden with night-lady bars. I find that there issometimes very little I can tangibly do, or maybe measurably do tohelp this person that will truly make a difference. The kind of helpthat these people require will take a great amount of time and energy.And I believe I can't help everyone in that way-- maybe just a few..
maybe two. Or one.But I believe also that I cannot simply forget what I have seen, forto do so would be an injustice in itself. Thus, I find that somethingI can do, and willingly do, is to think about them, pray for themsometimes, and by doing so, enter into their suffering with them. Ibelieve this has value, if not for them, then at least to myselfbecause I find that I am changed by walking beside them in their hurt.It has been my experience in my faith and walk with God, that God asksus to do this-- to take up Christ's cross, to take upon the yoke andbe burdened by the plight of others, to be so changed by that radicalLove that we are willing to do anything for Christ and God's people.That being said, I realize that this email is going out to a largenumber of people, and we don't necessarily believe all the same thingsor exist in the same paradigms about life, but I hope that you willunderstand my emails aren't an effort to evangelize, proselytize,antagonize, criticize, any other sort of -ize, or to make peopleuncomfortable. This is simply a record of my experiences and how mymind and spirit have been working through them, so I hope you willbear with me.And all THAT being said, I will tell you that this last monthespecially has been a month of awakenings to the present and this isthe content of my email to you all.For me, it is consistently an exhilarating and humbling feeling totruly feel present in my own body, with others, and in mysurroundings. The awakening, the feeling of suddenly re-realizing thatI am here in Thailand, that I am not simply a floating brain, that Iam a real person who is existing in this real world alongside otherpeople, is truly breathtaking. I am recalling three I want to tell youabout.The easiest one to describe which I will undertake first, is mygrowing ability to understand the language the culture more easily. I
have been taking language lessons this past month and it is reallymaking a difference--- well, obviously, because I can actuallyunderstand something going on around me. Maybe my percentage that Iunderstand has increased-- so I understand 2% (or on a good day 3%) ofmy surroundings. I can differentiate words now, so I can ask a personwhat this word or that word means. Also, in a very concrete way, I canTRACK conversations! I am sad I cannot express the level of myexcitement about this to you in an email. I have always taken forgranted the ability to walk down a street and pick up bits ofconversation, or to be able to respond to a question with very littlethought. I think when I return to the US, I will notice this and feellike I have Spidey-sense for a little while because I will have theability to read signs and know what people are talking about. All thisis to say, it's a breathtaking awakening to be pondering aconversation taking place around me and then suddenly realize that Iknow what she just said! And sometimes I can even say somethingmeaningful and ADD to the conversation! I am actually a little giddyjust thinking about it.Anyhow, I also found myself reawakened earlier this week on a walk Itook by myself around Chiang Mai's many streets. Brittany and Iattempt to walk everyday and see the world around us, and it is one ofmy favorite bits of day. Ordinarily, we walk one of three or fourloops that are centered around finding the delightful husband and wifewho sell us pineapple. This day, Brittany had already found thepineapple people and so, I decided I would wander the streets and seeif I could discover something awesome.I have to tell you that Chiang Mai is a very loud city. Brittany and Ilive 5 floors up from the road, and not right in the middle of thecity, yet all the time we can hear song-taews, thuk-thuks,
motorcycles, and a veritable abundance of other motor vehicles zoomingand honking their ways down the roads. To add to this is the Orwellianblast of ads and something (I really don't understand much of whatthey are saying) loudly playing on the speakers of many song-taews(cheap public transportation all Thais use) which bustle down alonginsisting that we all buy, buy, buy! Add to this a small army of dogswhose fight is to be the loudest at all hours of the day and night.And add to this all the typical city noises that are indiscernible butentirely noisy, and it equals the sound of Chiang Mai on any givenday. Being as I am from Oregon, and from the country at that, I havefound myself missing the solace of my home.My walk began on a normal route that normally I would take to find thepineapple people, but soon I began seeing little side streets withcurious sites and found myself taking these said sidestreets to seewhat I could see. It felt so nice to wander. People reading this whoknow me well know that I have the most terrible sense of direction.I'll be honest and say sometimes I still get lost in Eugene, the cityI was raised in. But the frequency of my getting lost at home hascreated in me not a sense of dread when I get lost (unless I am reallylate for a meeting or something) but rather a feeling of wow, I betI'll find something cool today. And usually I do. So, my aim was towander enough in Chiang Mai to get a little lost. Not lost enough thatI would never find myself again (who would write this ridiculouslylong email if I did? : ), but just lost enough to feel a sense ofnewness about Chiang Mai.Nearing the end of my walk, I was feeling pretty good about being lostand knowing kind of where I was. I ended up taking a sidestreet andplodding down a road which T-ed at the end. When I say T-ed, Iactually mean there were about four or five options of
roads/paths/random sideshoot streets I could take like arms extendingfrom an octopus. The path I took was on one side lined by a very tallwall of a building that I have no idea what it was (because the signwas in Thai) and on the other side a patchwork of fencing to give thesemblance that these Thai houses had a certain level of privacy orsafety, or blocking from dogs.. I'm not really sure. The pathwaywasn't particularly clean and it wasn't leading me to anywhere really(one of those Alice in Wonderland sorts of paths), but I realized allof a sudden that I could hear, ACTUALLY hear, my footsteps. (By thistime, you might be thinking, wow, she just spent the last 10paragraphs leading up to the part in the story where she hears her ownfootsteps??? yes. yes I did.... Bear with me though).As I said, Chiang Mai is a very loud city, it doesn't offer one theluxury of quiet. So to actually be in the midst of the city and hearmyself was surprising. And for me, there was nothing better to awakenme to myself, to the beauty of Chiang Mai, and the people around me.Footsteps are steady and no matter where you are, always sound thesame. Sometimes the rhythm is different, but it's a self-created noisethat I have always liked because it always draws me back to theconcrete reality that is me existing in this world. The quiet on thispath actually made my heart beat faster. I looked about me and sawthere were many butterflies casually flying by my feet. I imaginedthat they were there because they enjoyed the quiet too. Maybe theyfound it comforting or intoxicating to be able to hear the flutter oftheir own wings as they made their way from one bit of grass to a leafto a piece of trash.But it's a scene like this that brought me back out of a long stretchof being trapped in my mind. As I walked back to my apartment, I beganto look and actually see people AS people. It's surprising to me how
often I see people and take them to be a part of MY day, MY life, MYscenario that I am presently in. They become objects or diversions forpart of my day. I forget that they too are existing in this world evenwhen I don't see them and forget that they even exist. They too livetheir lives and so, experience the pain, beauty, and struggle that islife as we know it. And that is a wonderful thing to re-realize. Toreally see a person as an individual who is also a child of God. Yes,all this I took from hearing my own footsteps. But I feel as though itis interesting that something so simple and small can serve as areminder of these very important truths-- that others do not exist inthe world for our own diversion or benefit, but that we all existtogether and it is our duty to see in the Other the limitlesspotential and beauty that God has endowed them.The last thing I want to tell you about, is my most awakeningawakening as of yet. On Tuesday this earlier week, the Outreach teammade their way out to Loi Kroh, the street which is lined with thebars we usually go to. These bars house the ladies we have begun tobecome friends with and we go to see them on Tuesdays and Thursdays.The street is so very busy. It is a destination for many westerners,what with the bars, but also a number of market stores selling anykind of Thailand souvenir one might want, and then street vendors alsoselling anything your tongue might be craving from watermelon to friedbug to som tam.This street, and many that look like it here in Chiang Mai, aredestinations for many of the destitute because here they can come andsell roses to foreigners for about 30 cents a piece, or a bracelet ornecklace, or a Santa hat during Christmas time..or etc., etc. Mostoften, those people who are so poverty-stricken they must resort toflower selling are members of the hill tribes of Thailand. I could go
on for a long time about the racism that takes place between the"city" Thai and the "country" Thai, but I won't. What you need to knowis that the indigenous hill tribes are discriminated against to thepoint where they are not even considered citizens of Thailand. Theyhave no voice, they have no vote. Often, they speak only bits of Thaiand then their native tongue of Karin, Aca, Lissu.. Many come herewith the hopes of making enough money to support a sick parent, alarge family, back home. Some are as young as three, othersunnaturally old.A large percentage of the young streetwalkers, particularly girls, arepreyed upon by foreigners with pedophile tendencies. Many haveexperienced sexual trauma, abuse, rape. Beyond that, every once andagain, the police will come and do a sweep through the city. If any ofthese people are found without Thai ID cards, and none have Thai IDcards because they are nearly impossible to get, they are taken away.Not back to their hill tribe homes, but to the border Mesai, whichleads into Burma/Myanmar. Thus, many children who have parents, aremade orphans because of these sweeps when they are removed from familyand familiar places, unbeknownst to their parents.It is with this in mind that I walk down the road where, because of myvery farang appearance (blond hair, white skin, English speaking...you know) I become a target for these poverty-stricken people to sellthis or that or the other thing. And knowing all this makes itdifficult to say no to these children and women, but I do anyway.I am going on Outreach with Brittany, and as we are nearing the barwhich is our destination, we both notice a woman sitting on the sideof the road, looking blankly out to nothing, with a tiny baby layingon her lap. She has a plastic cup beside her-- she is begging. We passby her and then double back to a vendor selling chicken skewers and
buy some food for her. When we give the meal to her, and speak to her,she merely nods and continues to look at nothing and we continue ondown to the bar.After Outreach, we make our way back toward the place we'll meet upwith the rest of the team, and we are going to pass by this womanagain.When we do, Brittany leans down to speak with her in Thai. I kneeldown and begin to look at her baby, who is clothed in bright yellowfleece. We quickly discover that this woman and her baby are from theAca tribe and she speaks very little Thai. It is fortunate that theGarden's Children's Outreach coordinator is Aca, and Brittany runs toget her, so that we can see what we can do for this woman and her tinybaby. I stay with the woman and have nothing to say, but I smile ather when she looks into my eyes. Her eyes look blank and hopeless andshe doesn't smile back. Her baby looks at me, and the woman lets mehold onto the baby's hand and I speak to them both in English, and tryto sound as nice as possible.Brittany returns with Faa and begins to speak to the woman, Ami. Shelets Brittany and I hold the baby as she speaks to Faa. As I am bothplaying with the baby, and watching the conversation before me, Inotice both Ami and Faa begin to cry. Faa translates what is some ofAmi's story-- that she is from an Aca village farther north, that shehas two other children living there, 7 and 10, and her baby is onemonth old. She says that her husband left her and she has nothing.Which is why she came to Chiang Mai, because she now has to supporther children. This is nearly impossible to do with a baby. She cannotfind work during the day that allows for her baby to be there, so atnight, and all through the night, she must sell these flowers and begon the side of the road. I really couldn't help but cry. This lady wasat a breaking point and here was this tiny baby who was so helpless
and her mother seemed just as helpless as her.Faa had to leave, but before she did, we asked her to tell Ami to letus take her to 7-11 (sidenote: yes, there are 7-11s here!) and buy hersome things she needs. She allows us to walk her to 7-11 and is unsureof our level of commitment and what she really can get, but soon sherealizes that really all we want to do is to help. She tells us inbroken Thai that she is dry, so she is not able to breastfeed herbaby. She buys her baby milk, baby powder, baby oil, and diapers. Forherself, just bread and some chocolate. While we are in the store, shetakes my hand and I am walking with my arm around her and she is sotrusting of me. I am much taller than her and I feel so old for somereason. And I wish I could do more to protect her from this life thatshe leads.We lead her back to where she was originally sitting and she isholding both my hand and Brittany's and it's like she is a differentperson than the woman that we brought chicken skewers to. Because sheis actually seeing us, her baby, and herself and it has brought her totears. As I am holding the baby, Brittany attempts to tell Ami that wewill come and see her the next day. The baby looks at me, pleasantly,and I wonder if she has any idea of the world that she has been borninto, how broken it is, how human it is, and how many odds are againsther now. I lean my mouth next to her ear and pray blessings on her andcry for her because she is so precious, as is her mother, and yet theyare treated like they don't exist.When Brittany goes to tell Ami goodbye, she hugs her and Ami won't letgo, but weeps into Brittany's shoulder-- I imagine for boththankfulness for food and help, and utter despair over her situation.She wants so badly to go back to her other children, to her home, butthe circumstance does not allow it.As we walk away across the street, back to meet our team, it feels
like a betrayal. Because Brittany and I know full well that we get togo back to our home which is warm and stocked with food. That we havebeds and a shower and our family and friends are a phone call andemail away. And we don't have babies to take care of or husbands wholeft us. And it is this that reawakens me-- that calls me back to theneeds of this world. That says that we are so lucky, but our blessingscurse us by making us believe that our reality is actually reality.Truly, this woman represents a majority of this world. She is onlyone, and I am stunned to imagine what the other billions look like, tobegin to imagine each person has a story as tragic as Ami's. And whenI gave myself the chance to really truly think about it, I can feel myheart break a little.There is a poem by Richard Wilbur, called 'Love Calls Us To The ThingsOf This World' and besides being one of my favorite poems in the wholeworld, it is simply just an incredible poem. In it he imagines thatthe soul, while we sleep is allowed to move back into the beauty andhope of the spiritual realm. When the human awakes, the 'astoundedsoul'... 'descends once more in bitter love to accept the wakingbody'.I think of this poem as something so describing reality in that, Lovetruly does call us to the Things of this World, and deep down, ourawakened souls know this to be very true. That the idea of being outof the suffering and pains of the world is so peaceful and sweet, andthe knowledge that the world is full of thieves and hurt and deeplysad circumstances, makes it difficult to willingly enter into it. ButI am beginning and am always discovering how Love truly has called meto these things in the world and I desire to willingly go into it. Andso that's what all these awakenings have been about for me. And thatis why I wanted to tell you about them.Because they are important to me, and because of you who have
supported Brittany and me prayerfully, financially, emotionally,physically, we get to be here and enter into this knowing that you allare behind us, around us, supporting and loving us throughout. Forthat, we are so very thankful. I hope that you will continue in yoursupport, as God knows we need it very much.In prayer- for our continued strength throughout everyday, for theability to have Christ's compassion for all we meet, for our continuedfunding to be here to come in, for a continued spirit of unity betweenBrittany and myself, for bigger hearts to love the Other more fullyand deeply.Emotionally- by emailing us to tell us how you are and what you are doingFinancially- by funding our time here, because we can't stay here ifyou don't (1) send a check to DELTA ministries international/PO Box30029/Portland OR 97294 (include team # is: 2007429MT and tribute #is: 14890) 2) Or you can donate online at: website:http://www.deltaministries.com/ (include the team number and tribute # withour names)Physically- by sending us letters and pictures of you so we canremember what you look like and can put you up on our prayer wall!Brittany Quinn and Kelly Riechers PO Box 26 Chang Khlan Post OfficeChiang Mai Thailand 50101Much love is sent to you all in this email-- truly truly.I have a great amount of admiration if you made it through to the end.Good work!I will try to be more brief in the future, but it probably won't be successful.All my love,
Kelly Riechers
it.
In these last two months about, I have been mostly leaning towards theover-contemplative side of things. This is for a few reasons--First and foremost, when a person is in a culture and place whereeverything is foreign (aka me in Thailand), this person finds herselfnot understanding (or misunderstanding) about 99% of the happeningsaround her. While I don't mind this because it gives me more of achance to ponder things, it really is not helpful to be absent for 99%of the time : ) ... Keep in mind that I am making every effort tounderstand the language and the culture, but it takes a lot morethought that I would have imagined it would previous to my cominghere. Imagination also takes hold when I understand 9-10 words in aconversation going on right in front of me, and I am seeminglyinvolved in... So I have embraced the habit of pretending I knowwhat's being said, as well as imagining to myself the conversationtaking place. I think you can see why this isn't necessarily apositive thing.Another reason I lean towards the overthinking is because there is somany things going on around me that merit deep thought andconsideration. There is an immense amount of suffering that takesplace around me-- whether it is a woman I meet who is trapped inprostitution, a homeless man begging and starving on the streetbecause his legs are deformed, or a three year old hill tribe childwhose parents are so poor that both they and their child must sellflowers throughout the night to foreigners making their way downstreets heavy-laden with night-lady bars. I find that there issometimes very little I can tangibly do, or maybe measurably do tohelp this person that will truly make a difference. The kind of helpthat these people require will take a great amount of time and energy.And I believe I can't help everyone in that way-- maybe just a few..maybe two. Or one.But I believe also that I cannot simply forget what I have seen, forto do so would be an injustice in itself. Thus, I find that somethingI can do, and willingly do, is to think about them, pray for themsometimes, and by doing so, enter into their suffering with them. Ibelieve this has value, if not for them, then at least to myselfbecause I find that I am changed by walking beside them in their hurt.It has been my experience in my faith and walk with God, that God asksus to do this-- to take up Christ's cross, to take upon the yoke andbe burdened by the plight of others, to be so changed by that radicalLove that we are willing to do anything for Christ and God's people.That being said, I realize that this email is going out to a largenumber of people, and we don't necessarily believe all the same thingsor exist in the same paradigms about life, but I hope that you willunderstand my emails aren't an effort to evangelize, proselytize,antagonize, criticize, any other sort of -ize, or to make peopleuncomfortable. This is simply a record of my experiences and how mymind and spirit have been working through them, so I hope you willbear with me.And all THAT being said, I will tell you that this last monthespecially has been a month of awakenings to the present and this isthe content of my email to you all.For me, it is consistently an exhilarating and humbling feeling totruly feel present in my own body, with others, and in mysurroundings. The awakening, the feeling of suddenly re-realizing thatI am here in Thailand, that I am not simply a floating brain, that Iam a real person who is existing in this real world alongside otherpeople, is truly breathtaking. I am recalling three I want to tell youabout.The easiest one to describe which I will undertake first, is mygrowing ability to understand the language the culture more easily. I
have been taking language lessons this past month and it is reallymaking a difference--- well, obviously, because I can actuallyunderstand something going on around me. Maybe my percentage that Iunderstand has increased-- so I understand 2% (or on a good day 3%) ofmy surroundings. I can differentiate words now, so I can ask a personwhat this word or that word means. Also, in a very concrete way, I canTRACK conversations! I am sad I cannot express the level of myexcitement about this to you in an email. I have always taken forgranted the ability to walk down a street and pick up bits ofconversation, or to be able to respond to a question with very littlethought. I think when I return to the US, I will notice this and feellike I have Spidey-sense for a little while because I will have theability to read signs and know what people are talking about. All thisis to say, it's a breathtaking awakening to be pondering aconversation taking place around me and then suddenly realize that Iknow what she just said! And sometimes I can even say somethingmeaningful and ADD to the conversation! I am actually a little giddyjust thinking about it.Anyhow, I also found myself reawakened earlier this week on a walk Itook by myself around Chiang Mai's many streets. Brittany and Iattempt to walk everyday and see the world around us, and it is one ofmy favorite bits of day. Ordinarily, we walk one of three or fourloops that are centered around finding the delightful husband and wifewho sell us pineapple. This day, Brittany had already found thepineapple people and so, I decided I would wander the streets and seeif I could discover something awesome.I have to tell you that Chiang Mai is a very loud city. Brittany and Ilive 5 floors up from the road, and not right in the middle of thecity, yet all the time we can hear song-taews, thuk-thuks,
motorcycles, and a veritable abundance of other motor vehicles zoomingand honking their ways down the roads. To add to this is the Orwellianblast of ads and something (I really don't understand much of whatthey are saying) loudly playing on the speakers of many song-taews(cheap public transportation all Thais use) which bustle down alonginsisting that we all buy, buy, buy! Add to this a small army of dogswhose fight is to be the loudest at all hours of the day and night.And add to this all the typical city noises that are indiscernible butentirely noisy, and it equals the sound of Chiang Mai on any givenday. Being as I am from Oregon, and from the country at that, I havefound myself missing the solace of my home.My walk began on a normal route that normally I would take to find thepineapple people, but soon I began seeing little side streets withcurious sites and found myself taking these said sidestreets to seewhat I could see. It felt so nice to wander. People reading this whoknow me well know that I have the most terrible sense of direction.I'll be honest and say sometimes I still get lost in Eugene, the cityI was raised in. But the frequency of my getting lost at home hascreated in me not a sense of dread when I get lost (unless I am reallylate for a meeting or something) but rather a feeling of wow, I betI'll find something cool today. And usually I do. So, my aim was towander enough in Chiang Mai to get a little lost. Not lost enough thatI would never find myself again (who would write this ridiculouslylong email if I did? : ), but just lost enough to feel a sense ofnewness about Chiang Mai.Nearing the end of my walk, I was feeling pretty good about being lostand knowing kind of where I was. I ended up taking a sidestreet andplodding down a road which T-ed at the end. When I say T-ed, Iactually mean there were about four or five options of
roads/paths/random sideshoot streets I could take like arms extendingfrom an octopus. The path I took was on one side lined by a very tallwall of a building that I have no idea what it was (because the signwas in Thai) and on the other side a patchwork of fencing to give thesemblance that these Thai houses had a certain level of privacy orsafety, or blocking from dogs.. I'm not really sure. The pathwaywasn't particularly clean and it wasn't leading me to anywhere really(one of those Alice in Wonderland sorts of paths), but I realized allof a sudden that I could hear, ACTUALLY hear, my footsteps. (By thistime, you might be thinking, wow, she just spent the last 10paragraphs leading up to the part in the story where she hears her ownfootsteps??? yes. yes I did.... Bear with me though).As I said, Chiang Mai is a very loud city, it doesn't offer one theluxury of quiet. So to actually be in the midst of the city and hearmyself was surprising. And for me, there was nothing better to awakenme to myself, to the beauty of Chiang Mai, and the people around me.Footsteps are steady and no matter where you are, always sound thesame. Sometimes the rhythm is different, but it's a self-created noisethat I have always liked because it always draws me back to theconcrete reality that is me existing in this world. The quiet on thispath actually made my heart beat faster. I looked about me and sawthere were many butterflies casually flying by my feet. I imaginedthat they were there because they enjoyed the quiet too. Maybe theyfound it comforting or intoxicating to be able to hear the flutter oftheir own wings as they made their way from one bit of grass to a leafto a piece of trash.But it's a scene like this that brought me back out of a long stretchof being trapped in my mind. As I walked back to my apartment, I beganto look and actually see people AS people. It's surprising to me how
often I see people and take them to be a part of MY day, MY life, MYscenario that I am presently in. They become objects or diversions forpart of my day. I forget that they too are existing in this world evenwhen I don't see them and forget that they even exist. They too livetheir lives and so, experience the pain, beauty, and struggle that islife as we know it. And that is a wonderful thing to re-realize. Toreally see a person as an individual who is also a child of God. Yes,all this I took from hearing my own footsteps. But I feel as though itis interesting that something so simple and small can serve as areminder of these very important truths-- that others do not exist inthe world for our own diversion or benefit, but that we all existtogether and it is our duty to see in the Other the limitlesspotential and beauty that God has endowed them.The last thing I want to tell you about, is my most awakeningawakening as of yet. On Tuesday this earlier week, the Outreach teammade their way out to Loi Kroh, the street which is lined with thebars we usually go to. These bars house the ladies we have begun tobecome friends with and we go to see them on Tuesdays and Thursdays.The street is so very busy. It is a destination for many westerners,what with the bars, but also a number of market stores selling anykind of Thailand souvenir one might want, and then street vendors alsoselling anything your tongue might be craving from watermelon to friedbug to som tam.This street, and many that look like it here in Chiang Mai, aredestinations for many of the destitute because here they can come andsell roses to foreigners for about 30 cents a piece, or a bracelet ornecklace, or a Santa hat during Christmas time..or etc., etc. Mostoften, those people who are so poverty-stricken they must resort toflower selling are members of the hill tribes of Thailand. I could go
on for a long time about the racism that takes place between the"city" Thai and the "country" Thai, but I won't. What you need to knowis that the indigenous hill tribes are discriminated against to thepoint where they are not even considered citizens of Thailand. Theyhave no voice, they have no vote. Often, they speak only bits of Thaiand then their native tongue of Karin, Aca, Lissu.. Many come herewith the hopes of making enough money to support a sick parent, alarge family, back home. Some are as young as three, othersunnaturally old.A large percentage of the young streetwalkers, particularly girls, arepreyed upon by foreigners with pedophile tendencies. Many haveexperienced sexual trauma, abuse, rape. Beyond that, every once andagain, the police will come and do a sweep through the city. If any ofthese people are found without Thai ID cards, and none have Thai IDcards because they are nearly impossible to get, they are taken away.Not back to their hill tribe homes, but to the border Mesai, whichleads into Burma/Myanmar. Thus, many children who have parents, aremade orphans because of these sweeps when they are removed from familyand familiar places, unbeknownst to their parents.It is with this in mind that I walk down the road where, because of myvery farang appearance (blond hair, white skin, English speaking...you know) I become a target for these poverty-stricken people to sellthis or that or the other thing. And knowing all this makes itdifficult to say no to these children and women, but I do anyway.I am going on Outreach with Brittany, and as we are nearing the barwhich is our destination, we both notice a woman sitting on the sideof the road, looking blankly out to nothing, with a tiny baby layingon her lap. She has a plastic cup beside her-- she is begging. We passby her and then double back to a vendor selling chicken skewers and
buy some food for her. When we give the meal to her, and speak to her,she merely nods and continues to look at nothing and we continue ondown to the bar.After Outreach, we make our way back toward the place we'll meet upwith the rest of the team, and we are going to pass by this womanagain.When we do, Brittany leans down to speak with her in Thai. I kneeldown and begin to look at her baby, who is clothed in bright yellowfleece. We quickly discover that this woman and her baby are from theAca tribe and she speaks very little Thai. It is fortunate that theGarden's Children's Outreach coordinator is Aca, and Brittany runs toget her, so that we can see what we can do for this woman and her tinybaby. I stay with the woman and have nothing to say, but I smile ather when she looks into my eyes. Her eyes look blank and hopeless andshe doesn't smile back. Her baby looks at me, and the woman lets mehold onto the baby's hand and I speak to them both in English, and tryto sound as nice as possible.Brittany returns with Faa and begins to speak to the woman, Ami. Shelets Brittany and I hold the baby as she speaks to Faa. As I am bothplaying with the baby, and watching the conversation before me, Inotice both Ami and Faa begin to cry. Faa translates what is some ofAmi's story-- that she is from an Aca village farther north, that shehas two other children living there, 7 and 10, and her baby is onemonth old. She says that her husband left her and she has nothing.Which is why she came to Chiang Mai, because she now has to supporther children. This is nearly impossible to do with a baby. She cannotfind work during the day that allows for her baby to be there, so atnight, and all through the night, she must sell these flowers and begon the side of the road. I really couldn't help but cry. This lady wasat a breaking point and here was this tiny baby who was so helpless
and her mother seemed just as helpless as her.Faa had to leave, but before she did, we asked her to tell Ami to letus take her to 7-11 (sidenote: yes, there are 7-11s here!) and buy hersome things she needs. She allows us to walk her to 7-11 and is unsureof our level of commitment and what she really can get, but soon sherealizes that really all we want to do is to help. She tells us inbroken Thai that she is dry, so she is not able to breastfeed herbaby. She buys her baby milk, baby powder, baby oil, and diapers. Forherself, just bread and some chocolate. While we are in the store, shetakes my hand and I am walking with my arm around her and she is sotrusting of me. I am much taller than her and I feel so old for somereason. And I wish I could do more to protect her from this life thatshe leads.We lead her back to where she was originally sitting and she isholding both my hand and Brittany's and it's like she is a differentperson than the woman that we brought chicken skewers to. Because sheis actually seeing us, her baby, and herself and it has brought her totears. As I am holding the baby, Brittany attempts to tell Ami that wewill come and see her the next day. The baby looks at me, pleasantly,and I wonder if she has any idea of the world that she has been borninto, how broken it is, how human it is, and how many odds are againsther now. I lean my mouth next to her ear and pray blessings on her andcry for her because she is so precious, as is her mother, and yet theyare treated like they don't exist.When Brittany goes to tell Ami goodbye, she hugs her and Ami won't letgo, but weeps into Brittany's shoulder-- I imagine for boththankfulness for food and help, and utter despair over her situation.She wants so badly to go back to her other children, to her home, butthe circumstance does not allow it.As we walk away across the street, back to meet our team, it feels
like a betrayal. Because Brittany and I know full well that we get togo back to our home which is warm and stocked with food. That we havebeds and a shower and our family and friends are a phone call andemail away. And we don't have babies to take care of or husbands wholeft us. And it is this that reawakens me-- that calls me back to theneeds of this world. That says that we are so lucky, but our blessingscurse us by making us believe that our reality is actually reality.Truly, this woman represents a majority of this world. She is onlyone, and I am stunned to imagine what the other billions look like, tobegin to imagine each person has a story as tragic as Ami's. And whenI gave myself the chance to really truly think about it, I can feel myheart break a little.There is a poem by Richard Wilbur, called 'Love Calls Us To The ThingsOf This World' and besides being one of my favorite poems in the wholeworld, it is simply just an incredible poem. In it he imagines thatthe soul, while we sleep is allowed to move back into the beauty andhope of the spiritual realm. When the human awakes, the 'astoundedsoul'... 'descends once more in bitter love to accept the wakingbody'.I think of this poem as something so describing reality in that, Lovetruly does call us to the Things of this World, and deep down, ourawakened souls know this to be very true. That the idea of being outof the suffering and pains of the world is so peaceful and sweet, andthe knowledge that the world is full of thieves and hurt and deeplysad circumstances, makes it difficult to willingly enter into it. ButI am beginning and am always discovering how Love truly has called meto these things in the world and I desire to willingly go into it. Andso that's what all these awakenings have been about for me. And thatis why I wanted to tell you about them.Because they are important to me, and because of you who have
supported Brittany and me prayerfully, financially, emotionally,physically, we get to be here and enter into this knowing that you allare behind us, around us, supporting and loving us throughout. Forthat, we are so very thankful. I hope that you will continue in yoursupport, as God knows we need it very much.In prayer- for our continued strength throughout everyday, for theability to have Christ's compassion for all we meet, for our continuedfunding to be here to come in, for a continued spirit of unity betweenBrittany and myself, for bigger hearts to love the Other more fullyand deeply.Emotionally- by emailing us to tell us how you are and what you are doingFinancially- by funding our time here, because we can't stay here ifyou don't (1) send a check to DELTA ministries international/PO Box30029/Portland OR 97294 (include team # is: 2007429MT and tribute #is: 14890) 2) Or you can donate online at: website:http://www.deltaministries.com/ (include the team number and tribute # withour names)Physically- by sending us letters and pictures of you so we canremember what you look like and can put you up on our prayer wall!Brittany Quinn and Kelly Riechers PO Box 26 Chang Khlan Post OfficeChiang Mai Thailand 50101Much love is sent to you all in this email-- truly truly.I have a great amount of admiration if you made it through to the end.Good work!I will try to be more brief in the future, but it probably won't be successful.All my love,
Kelly Riechers
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